Archives

Awards

Sponsors

Links

Forums

E-mail us

Vive La Revolution!

And now, for The Fine Line’s continuing coverage of the war in Afghanistan, we take you live to our "far-flung" correspondent in the field, Mack Giffberg.

This is Mack Giffberg, reporting live from the skies of Afghanistan. I’m currently about 10,000 feet above a mountain range east of Kandahar, where the latest battle in Operation Anaconda is raging between al-Qaeda fighters and combined U.S.-Afghani forces.

Can you give us any details on the situation, Mack?

Well, it’s hard to tell which specks are which from way up here. Fortunately, I should be able to get a better look as I continue to plummet towards the ground.

What do you mean, plummet?

Well, you know we don’t have much of a budget here at the Fine Line, so it was somewhat difficult to get an airborne view of the area. I tried to hitch a ride on CNN’s helicopter, but they kicked me off, so we just rigged up a giant catapult and they hurled me over here.

That’s terrible!

Tell me about it…I’m only going to be able to have a good look at the battlefield for two, maybe three seconds before impact, and do you know what the odds are against something newsworthy happening in those three seconds? Meanwhile those smug bastards from CNN get to hover up there in their helicopter, just waiting around. God I hate them.

Wait, I think I see someone below me…it’s Osama bin Laden! Yes, bin Laden himself, leader of the al-Qaeda terrorist network, and he’s got his hands in the air! It’s all over, folks! What an historic…no, wait, that’s just a rock. Ah, f-*fzzzt*


Mack? Mack? …well, that’s all for this week’s coverage, apparently. This segment will be on indefinite hiatus while we look for a new field reporter, and a spatula.







Copyright 2001 The Fine Line Online. See our disclaimer.