F-16s Intercept Stray Aircraft Over Olympics

Salt Lake City – An unidentified aircraft was detected yesterday morning in restricted airspace over the Olympic facilities, and F-16 jets were quickly sent to intercept it, said a high-level Pentagon source. The incident was resolved without loss of life, and the unknown was safely escorted to the nearby Hill Air Force Base.

After the aircraft failed to respond to radio signals, the military jets moved to flank the unknown and visually identify it. Pilots radioed back to base a positive ID on “a small, person-sized craft…no identifying markings…strikingly nun-shaped.” After a brief argument with ground control and verification of the drug tests taken by the pilots before the sortie, the aircraft was identified as none other than Sally Field, best known as TV’s “Flying Nun”.

“From the small radar signature, we were expecting some kind of stealth aircraft,” explained one of the Hill ground control officers. “Apparently a nun has the same radar cross-section as a B-2 bomber. Go figure.”

Ms. Field reversed course and followed the fighters back to the base after a warning shot was fired across her bow.

“We’re just glad we resolved the situation quickly and efficiently, and nobody was hurt,” continued the officer. “Sure, Ms. Field wasn’t actively trying to attack the Olympics, but now we know we’re prepared in case anyone does try.”

“We’re also very glad that Ms. Field didn’t crash in the process. Do you have any idea how much jet fuel a fully-loaded flying nun carries?”

Ms. Field was unavailable for comment, as she is still being held for further inspection in Hangar B-7 at Hill AFB.







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