Devil Finally Collects on Soul-Selling Promise

College Park, MD - In an sudden and unexpected move, the Prince of Darkness finally responded to the classic "I'd sell my soul..." phrase, netting the soul of a local college student, Matt Gifchevy, known to his friends as "a lazy bastard".

An unsuspecting Gifchevy unknowingly uttered the phrase yesterday evening, when he discovered that his General Tso's chicken was greasy and generally unappetizing. According to eyewitnesses, he exclaimed, "I'd sell my soul for some good Chinese food!", at which point a pillar of flame erupted in the middle of the room, and a demonic figure stepped out and handed the student a box of Chinese food and a bill for "one soul".

"To be fair, it really was good Chinese food," commented Matt. "I think they actually imported it from China. Can't beat the price, either - I wasn't even using my soul. Although it did bring up the question of how I was supposed to tip the deliveryman."







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