Bin Laden: Al Qaeda Practices "Good Terror"

Washington, D.C. - In an actual video obtained by the BBC soon to be released as part of the US coalition's case against Al Qaeda, Osama Bin Laden claimed that Al Qaeda was responsible for the September 11th attacks. He also stated that there “are two types of terror, good and bad. What we are practising is good terror."

In what appeared to analysts to be a segment that Al Qaeda forgot to edit out, Bin Laden went on in depth about the specific differences between ‘good terror’ and ‘bad terror.’ “Good terror, that would be the killing members of the oppressive American imperial capitalist dictatorship. Bad terror, that would killing innocent civilians. But to you Americans, you think people who are in the destructive American regime are actually innocent civilians, and this is not correct. There is a major difference. So let me make it more clarified in terms you may be able to understand.”

“Good terror … that is like, say, Chuckie — no, wait, Leprechaun. Bad terror, then, is like … O-Town, or a Mickey D’s cheeseburger -- no, no, wait. Good terror, it’s – did you ever run up behind someone and yell ‘Boo!’ really loudly because they deserved it? That’s good terror. Bad terror is taking the toilet paper with you when you leave the bathroom, just so the next person won’t have any. Yes, this is the difference. Are you getting all this, Muhammed? Let me give you one more explanation, humm…”

At that point, Bin Laden signalled the cameraman to turn the tape off. Officials believe there was some discussion in between the stopping of the tape and when it was started again. When it was recording again, Bin Laden made this comment:

“I have my English dictionary available, so I know this is correct. Good terror can only be redundant. Bad terror can only be an oxymoron. It is never the other way around.”







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