Al Gore Still Alive

Nashville - In a surprise political move, former presidential candidate Al Gore is once again trying to gain national attention by making a speech criticizing President Bush's economic policies. Gore made specific references to the planned deficit spending, the Enron scandal, and Maggie Southerland, "a 56-year old lady from Arkansas who is raising 24 kids on Medicare and has to stand in the back of the classroom because there aren't enough desks," who wasn't particularly helped by Bush's tax-cut and economic stimulus package.

"Wow, he's still in politics," commented a local man who attended the speech. "I mean, he just vanished completely after the whole election thing was over. I was hoping that, since he had more than 50% of the people in the country supporting him, he'd try to stage some kind of rebel uprising, or at least a hundred-million-man march or two. But no, he just vanished."

When asked about his prolonged absence, Mr. Gore explained, "I just needed some time off from the world of politics, to relax, to think, and to grow and cultivate a proper beard. Then a little girl can ask me to shave it, like Lincoln! And I'll be the great Gore-mancipator!"

Gore refused to comment on any subject related to the word "lockbox".







Copyright 2001 The Fine Line Online. See our disclaimer.