GIANT HEADLINE GRABS ATTENTION

WICHITA - A giant headline grabbed attention yesterday in downtown Wichita, shaking it furiously like a small helpless newborn, in front of pedestrians and passers-by. A number of well-meaning onlookers tried to tackle the giant headline and wrest attention away, but the attention's span was short and slippery so most of them ended up in a bar sipping cheap beer and avoiding going home.

"It was really somethin'," commented attention owner Jimbo "Jim" Mork. "I was standin' in front of a newstand, just perusin' the magazines and what have you, and I saw this paper. The headline that was on it was just so BIG, I couldn't avert my eyes! It leapt right out at me and nearly knocked me off my feet, grabbin' my attention in the process."

Police quickly arrived on the scene, and manage to track down the giant headline and arrest it. The headline had been hiding, suprisingly, on page A1 of the newspaper Mork had been looking at. His attention was returned to him after receiving treatment for a few small bruises and a large box of Ritalin.







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