Microsoft Drops Anti-Trust Suit Against US Government

REDMOND -- Microsoft officials announced yesterday that they would be dropping their suit against the United States government, which claimed that the US government held an unfair monopoly on regulation of US industries.

The suit, pending a decision by a top Microsoft judge, would have forced the US government two break up into two governments in order to promote better competition in the marketplace.

"Come on, let's be fair, here," whined Microsoft head Bill Gates, "as long as the government doesn't the people to use all of our products together, why should we want to to have to obey all of the governments orders? The market demands better government, one which won't prosecute, um, large innovative corporations with significant control of the market."

"However," continued Gates, "we have concluded, in light of certain recent events, to stop pursuing our anti-trust suit. Although one large government does tend to stifle other start-up governments, as in Waco, Microsoft is no longer facing litigation which would force it to split into two, and so we believe there is no need to really piss off the American people by creating a second government."

Gates then lead reporters on a tour of his new military compound, Fort Microsoft, which houses an army of nearly 10,000 cyborg mercenaries all running on the much-anticipated Windows XP. "I am your King!" he cried as saluting troops marched passed.







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