Right Said Fred “Not Too Sexy To Work”

Memory Lane – Eighties recording artist Right Said Fred no longer lives the life of a superstar as he did at the height his career. He now spends nearly 20 hours a day outside recording companies, begging for contracts; within his two room apartment in a dilapidated complex in South LA, he spends nights practicing whatever material he can hear on the radio, mostly things that sound ‘nineties’ and ‘post-nineties’ and not ‘stupid.’

“There’s no way I’m disco-dancing, anymore,” said Right Said Fred. “No one listens to my music anymore. I am the first to admit that I and my kind have gone out of style, and I am the first to work to learn new styles, new moves, whatever it takes. But every time I tell someone who I am, they just start humming “I’m Too Sexy” and expect me to be that person. And then they tell me there’s no work for someone like me, as if I really was too sexy, or something.”

Right Said Fred, a sometime subject of Fine Line Online coverage, has attempted various publicity stunts in order to find any work; he once organized a small group of supporters who rallied in public with signs reading “Right Said Fred: Too Poor For His Car” and “He’s Too Broke For His Cat! Poor Pussy! Poor Pussy Cat!” He has performed at children’s birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, and was a corpse on “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.” None of his appearances have driven up demand for his talents, however.

“Sure, I can shake my little tush on the catwalk, but that’s not all I can do,” he commented. “I’ve learned how to shake that booty, shake that thang, and make a milkshake. I am sexy, but I’m not too sexy for you, employers of the world!”







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