Soccer Game Breaks Out At Riot; Four Thrilled, Thousands Bored

  Washington, D.C. - A riot on the Mall today was broken up by soccer players in a frenzy of European-style sports action. Eyewitnesses described the event as "mildly entertaining" and "a waste of a perfectly good riot".

The riot, which had broken out from a protest against "either the whole Afghanistan thing or globalization, we're not sure", was originally "very orderly", according to rioter and professional hippie Complainer McProtestsalot. "Sure, we were breaking store windows, looting a little, overturning a car here or there, but none of that is unusual for a riot. But when somebody suddenly tossed a soccer ball into the crowd...man, things turned ugly fast."

According to reports, two teams quickly emerged out of the crowd around the soccer ball, as other rioters quickly constructed two makeshift goals from various looted goods. The crowd watching the game was extremely rowdy for the first few minutes, then quieted down, and finally wandered off after about 20 minutes, feeling entertained yet somehow empty inside.

Three referees were found unconscious near the site of the soccer game, their red and yellow cards and whistles stolen. Police have no suspects at this time.







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