Local Man Travels Forward In Time One Hour

Anyville, U.S.A. - A local man, who wishes to remain anonymous "until [he finds] a way to return to the normal time stream", claims he suddenly discovered himself hurled forwards through time by exactly one hour this past Sunday morning.

"Well, I got up at 10:00 sharp, just like I do every Sunday morning, and I had no idea anything was wrong. But when I switched on the TV, the clock on the news program said 9:00! At first I thought maybe something was wrong with my clock, but I checked, and every single clock in the house was exactly one hour ahead! Obviously that couldn't be a coincidence, so the only possibility left was some kind of temporal anomaly."

The man has warned people to stay away from the vicinity of his house, as "the effects on the human body of jumping one hour ahead suddenly could be disastrous." He has pledged to use his temporal displacement "for the good of mankind" by advising the media of any major events an hour before they happen. "See, if a huge earthquake or volcano or something hits at, say, 1:00, it'll hit my house a good hour before everyone else. So if my house explodes violently, I can just phone the local news station and...wait...crap, I guess I didn't think this through."

The intrepid time-traveller has dismissed the notion of a massive government-mandated conspiracy to change the standard time back and forth on certain dates as "preposterous".







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