Diary of a Volcano:

20,284 BC, Tuesday:
Woke up, had splitting headache. Felt awful. Went back to sleep.

6,792 BC, Thursday:
Still had headache; now also indigestion. Erupted; felt better. Went back to sleep.

1,346 BC, Friday:
Woke up, felt oddly wet! Had gotten lava all over myself while sleeping. Must have been dreaming of Helena again. Oh, Diary, will I ever be with sweet Helena??? Went back to sleep.

617 BC, Sunday:
Very lazy day. Erupted for lack of anything better to do. Made a lovely sunset. Wish Helena could have seen it. Went back to sleep.

147 AD, Monday:
Received a human sacrifice from natives today! And not just any human, a virgin! Must be moving up in the world. Got really worked up about it; erupted a bit to let off some steam. Went back to sleep.

1571 AD, Wednesday:
Very angry today! Some hot shot called me an "Igneous Ignoramus." Got so mad I blew the entire side of my face off. Hurts like hell. Tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't; sat and smoked for a while.

1849 AD, Thursday:
Face feeling better; been doing lots of thinking. It really comes down to the question, "Why am I here?" Is there a point to existence, a master plan of some kind known only to an incomprenhensible, transcendant entity of creation? Or is existence simply absurd, meaningless, and the only rational decision left to us is whether to live or not to live?

Erupted several times while pondering problem; got no further, but erupting sure is fun! Decided to sleep on it.

2001 AD, Saturday:
This is it, Diary! Big date tonight with Helena! She's coming over at seven, just has to shift a few continents to get here. She's so HHHHHHOT! Gotta go, Diary -- getting so excited, tiring myself out. Think I will take nap until she gets here.







Copyright 2001 The Fine Line Online. See our disclaimer.