The Fine Line Online Archives: Just like the National Archives in Washington D.C., except a lot less material and no air conditioning.

Articles:
GIANT HEADLINE GRABS ATTENTION
Reader Thrilled To See Own Name On Website
Death in Near-Death Accident
Microsoft Drops Anti-Trust Suit Against Government
AIM Banned, Doctors Surgically Reattach Buttocks
Bush Hires Texas Rangers For Nat'l Missile Defense
Lost Train of Thought Jumps Tracks, Kills Four
United Sharks Conference on Speciesism Overshadowed by People Being Eaten
Peanut Butter, Jelly No Longer On Speaking Terms
Earthquake Knocks California Into Ocean, Other States Breathe Sigh Of Relief
Woman Puzzled by Outcome of "Clue"
Ambiguous Mailbox Flag Confounds, Ostracizes Area Man
One Million Suspects In Stick Figure Murder
NASDAQ Feels Down
Underage Drinking Party Comes To Dramatic End
America Opens Can of Whoop-Ass on Taliban
Particle Rights Group Demands Ban On "Cruel" Collider Experiments
Finelineonline.com Updates Mondays
U.S. Buttocks Bureau Contributes To Humanitarian Effort In Afghanistan
'Pokemon: The STDmon' Not Selling Well
Local Man Misses Point of Molotov Cocktail
Delta Force Sex-Change Squad Releases ‘Ms. Osamette’ Back To Taliban
Soccer Game Breaks Out At Riot; Four Thrilled, Thousands Bored
Economy Finally Kills William Shatner
American Government Declares "War On Anthrax"
‘Littlest Congressman’ Reminds Public: America Not Technically At War
Local Man Travels Forward In Time One Hour
Bananas Rally To Show Support For America
Right Said Fred “Not Too Sexy To Work”
“Cult of the Deciduous” Commits Mass Suicide
Officials Fear Terrorists May Possess Jigsaw Technology
Disgruntled Aliens To Never Visit Earth Again
Bin Laden: Al Qaeda Practices "Good Terror"
Oedipal Archetype Missing From Harry Potter Movie
Local Man Struck By Lightning Repeatedly
USA Leader Issues Totally Unambiguous Threats Toward Afghanistan
God Slowly Getting Back at Beatles For Whole 'Bigger Than Jesus' Thing
Capitalized Pronouns Keep Giving Away Presence Of God
God Wondering Why So Many Articles About Him Are On Website
Canadian Special Forces Deployed to Afghanistan
Gandhi Very Glad To Be Dead Right Now
Area Archaeologist's Girlfriend Hates How He Keeps Digging Up The Past
Economy Afraid of Commitment
Devil Finally Collects on Soul-Selling Promise
Experimental Samples Missing from Hershey Lab
Dehydrated Slice of Lime Grows Desperate
Area High School Stupidly Blocks Humorous Website
Pikachu Defeats Bush in Playground Battle
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Where Are They Now?
Area Priest Becomes Airport Security Guy Who Pats People Down
Local Man Delivers “State Of My Bunion” Address
Cannibals Call for Halt to MMR Vaccination
ET, 20 Years Later, No Longer Holding Head High
Crackdown on Evil Continues At Olympics
F-16s Intercept Stray Aircraft Over Olympics
Al Gore Still Alive
Bush Pledges To Increase Spending On Intelligence
Area Man Discovers There Really Is A Never-Ending Story III
Ninja Union Declares Strike
Pentagon Report Finds Nuclear Weapons Are “Solution For Everything”
Area Ornithologist Identifies Misrepresentations In Pop Song For Daughter
Report: Physics Classified As “Gateway Science”
Study Finds Gateway Punctuation Abuse On The Rise
Sharon, Arafat To Star In Sitcom; Conflict To Be Resolved In Half-Hour
Timmy, Age 47, Still In The Well

Columns:
The Toasters Are Coming!
Diary of a Volcano
Blue Bird
Dance Of The Test Pattern
Death to AIM Smileys
In The Secret Kingdom Of The Don’t-Flushers

Lists:
Newspaper Articles We'll Never See
The U.S. Army Gets Safe

From the Archives:
The Dangers of Fire Engineering

Fake Science Corner:
Global Warming and You
Genetic Engineering
Stochastics
Nanotechnology

Advertisements:
AOL version 6.66
Hamas Death Insurance Co.
People for the Ethical Treatment of People
Blasterine!
C-POX
Michael Flatley's Lord of the Rings

Cartoons:
What's Your Number?
Everything In Moderation
Aliens on Earth

In the Mail:
Attack of the Credit Cards
Internet Spies
Thorn Honey

Random Versus:
McFly vs. The Fly
Software Pirates vs. Real Pirates

Quizzes:
Are You a Superhero?
How Many Fingers Do You Have?

Classic Articles:
Amateur Bull-Riding Stunt Leaves Two Thrilled, 17 Entertained
Greenpeace Invades Luxembourg
Local Shopper Discovers "He Is There"

Special Features:
A Mike Tyson Easter

Far-Flung Correspondent:
FFC covers the war in Afghanistan.
FFC reports on airport security.







Copyright 2001 The Fine Line Online. See our disclaimer.